Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I don't deserve a penis
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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