I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
