I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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