why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
