we have pet lesbian snakes
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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