you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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