I wanna bring you to show and tell
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
