And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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