True but thats because hes a fetus.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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