Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
