Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
