ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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