what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
