pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
