I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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