i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
