I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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