Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize