Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
