Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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