butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
