They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
