you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
