I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
