I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
