Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
