What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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