Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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