I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
