dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
