Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
sarcasm needs its own font
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
