I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
