We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
