problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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