dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
