hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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