i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm both gender and math confused
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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