Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize