I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Found the puke drawer
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
