i don't like sucking hair
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
