I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
