are you still at the devil's house?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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