Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
