I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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