On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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