some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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