scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Congratulations! We have a period
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
