His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
