what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
