sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Watching her eat just hurts me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
