we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
