You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
