she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Two words: nipple clamps
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