Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
