Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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