I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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