yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Randomize
